Every rose has it's thorn
by loriessa
Summary: After all everyone deserves a second chance. Follow the life of Katniss E and Peeta M. As they try to cope with their new life. Figuring what's real and what's not. A Post-Mockingjay fanfiction that follows Katniss and Peeta trying to rebuild their relationship, and fighting through tough times together.
1. Chapter 1-The loneliness

Thank you for checking this out and please review!

**Disclaimer: sadly, I don't own any of these characters. They are all for the genius mind of Suzanne Collins.**

Chapter 1- the loneliness

When I feel truly alone, with a sense of being lost, even empty inside, it is is then I realize I have unknowingly moved away from everything that makes sense in life. The snow has been falling thick and heavy outside, I can tell by the flushed face of sae who stands beside me still trying to get me to eat something and get out of bed.

"honey, you've got to eat something, you look frail"

I feel bad putting her through this, I don't intend to on purpose, but I feel so guilty when I am still breathing, while all the people that I love all dissapeared, and left me here to bear with the pain.

"I'm not hungry"

"Katniss, you've got to at least eat something, you could get ill"

Her eyes are pleading me to comply. Sae is actually one of the people who still care about me, who doesn't look at me as if I was from another dimension. I can't help but give her some credit to be able to put up with me.

So I comply

"ok"

"great, I'll be setting everything up downstairs"

I give her a slight nod, and she scatters out of my room. I finally find everything within me to finally get out of bed. As I pass through my room I quickly glance at myself in the mirror. I don't look like the old me at all, as if that was good, but this time I look repulsive. I look so thin, my bones are stretching my skin, my scars that haven't completely dissapeared can still be easily distinguished, my hair looks glossy from the lack of a proper shower, my breast smaller than ever, my hips look as of a boy. I don't look feminine at all. Whatever I see in front of me terrifies me in the inside. I go to my bathroom, remove my clothing, and step into the shower. The hot water rinses off the dirt off of me. I wash my hair with my citrus shampoo, and wash the rest of me. As I step out of the shower and take a look at myself one more time. It's still me, terrifying me, just cleaner. I find my clothing laid on my bed, Sae probably came in when I was taking a shower. I put some flowery shorts, probably a capitol design, and a pink tanktop. I make my way downstairs, and I am suddenly hit with the delicious aroma coming from the kitchen, my stomach growls, it's now that I finally realise how hungry I was. I make my way on the final steps, sae is placing some rye bread on the table. _Bread._ I refuse to think of whom that bread reminds me of, blond curls, and piercing blue eyes like the morning sky. Stop it! Katniss, don't do this to yourself.

"oh dear, you look lovely"

I don't know if she's bluffing or she's being serious. Still, I don't say anything as I sit and look around the food scattered on the table. There is a slice of rye bread, squirrel stew, some cheese, and a glass of orange juice.

Sae is looking at me so intently, I feel like a prey being stalked on. So now I know what that feels like. I take my first bite of the stew with the bread. This is exceptional. My hungry stomach can't help but gobble down all the stew. Sae smiles, definetly pleased with herself. She managed to get me out of bed and feed me.

I finish my bowl, and sae looks like she might burst into tears.

"are you still hungry, there is more if you want"

"no, thank you"

I mean it. She is nothing like my mother. She deeply cares about me.

"so...what else do you want to do, you could watch some tv or go out and check out the town"

I shake my head vigorously at that idea. She sees my discomfort and apologizes. I don't want to go to town and see all the destruction and the victims that I helped killed. For a moment I wished I ate those berries and none of it would of happend, but what benefit would it cause. Prim would inconsolable, and Peeta, _Peeta, _would be like he said nothing without me.

"I'm just going to lie down on the couch" I simply tell her.

"ok"

I lie on the couch, and sae figures what to do. She starts cleaning up every single untidy place. I'm grateful for her actions, the last to happen is for me to end up like haymitch. I contemplate putting the tv on, but that's too risky. You never know what could be featured on tv.

As I lay there, I contemplate my life. I've lost so many good people in my life. My own mother who won't even dare look at my face. Prim, my sweet sweet prim, lost her life because of my ignorant actions. She could of been a doctor, married and had beautiful children. It's what she wanted her future to be like. The list goes on, Finnick, Cinna. Beetee, Mags, Thresh, Rue, and all the victims who lost their lives, because stubborn Katniss decided to turn on the capitol, and decided to add her own mix into the games, by adding nightlock berries and risking her life and the man who opened himself by putting his life in danger because of the love he had for this _shattered _girl.

Sae finally comes back into view.

"Katniss I'm going to leave now, i've got to pick up Josie from her playdate"

"ok"

"well..I'll see you tomorrow"

I nod

"take care of yourself Katniss"

She smiles and leaves. Josie is sae's grandaughter. Her parents were lost in the war. Just another reason why I should feel guilty. This house is always lonely whenever she leaves. There's a coldness in the air, as if the house was lifeless even with my presence. With the amount of quietness I slowly drift off to sleep.

_The halls are cold and the brightness of the hall does not help my vision at all. I start to make my way down the hall trying to find something I can't really put my finger on it. I search through each room and find nothing. Till I reach the tenth room and find a girl on floor, covered in blood, so pale and definetly looks lifeless, then I see her yellow long blond hair, and her little stature. She looks familiar, so I decide to take a look. Then I see her...Prim._

"_Prim, Prim!" I start to scream._

_No response_

"_Prim, please wake up, please Im here, everything is gonna be ok, Prim..please" I scream_

_No response_

"_Im sorry!" is all I can muster out._

_This is all my fault. I think to myself. I don't want to leave her all alone here. So I carry her body, and pursue down the hall. Then I see something move in one of the rooms. I look around to take a look. That's when I see him. Standing at the corner of the room, fist clenched, and seems to be focusing on something. It's Peeta. _

_Trying to find the words I call out his name._

"_Peeta!"_

_His head turns around to see who called out his name. A look shock appears on his face, then look of determination appears on his face.I settle Prim in one of the beds, and move to talk to Peeta._

"_Peeta, it's me Katniss"_

_Still no responce. I move closer to him to try and get his attention._

"_Peeta... don't you remember me"_

_I turn to face him, and just when I tried to put mu hands on his face. His strong hands fly on my throat squishing the life out of me._

_I try to say something to make him stop he refuses to comply._

"_stop...stop Peeta stop" I manage to say_

"_mutt" he mutters._

_I scream to try to get his attention, but nothing._

All the sudden I jolt awake sweat all over me, and I can't breath. Searching for air, I sit upright. Just when I thought I could get some sleep. The nightmares still torture me.

I get up to get some water to refresh. The water feels like i've just been revived alive. I make my way back to the couch, fearing that if I go back to bed my nightmares would come back to haunt me. Just when Im about to take my seat. I take a look outside of the window, and then I see _him. _Carrying a box and making his way to his house.

It's Peeta. His back to district twelve.

I feel like I need a gallon of water, because my eyes can't believe what Im seeing.

"Peeta...his back" I mutter to myself.

**Author's note: **I hope you liked it, and please review!. It helps a lot to know that people support you and it gives you motivation. Feel free to give me your thoughts on what you thought about the story, what needs to be focused on, and what needs to be changed. If there's anything you don't like about the story please feel free to give me updates on that.

This is my first time writing a fanfiction, so go easy on me. I'll try to update every week!.

Hope you enjoyed, Thnak you. : )


	2. Chapter 2-Home

So I'm back a little too early, but felt like writing this chapter before really going into this 4 day Easter break!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the hunger games, nor the characters, they all report to Suzanne Collins genius mind.

Chapter 2- Home

Peeta's pov

It feels great to be home, although it doesn't look like what it once looked like before. It still feels great to be where I grew up, most of my memories where built here. Some were great, some were not. I cherish those moments dearly, because they remind me of whom I once was. Even though some of them are blurry now, I feel like it's best to keep those memories safely locked, where they won't be invaded by the attrocities of the capitol.

I wonder how I made it to this point. I still remember all those times I would bake with my dad, while his teaching me how to put frosting on cakes. The thought makes me smile. I remember how I was so antsy to watch _her_ pass by the bakery and look at the cakes with amazent, and all I wanted to do was bring her cakes everyday to see the look on her face. The games changed who we were, but they never changed who we are. No matter what they tried, they broke us to the point where it's hard to get back up. Took away what matters most to us. They could never change us. We are broken not _shattered, _we can heal with time. Everything takes time. All this just shows you to appreciate what you have before it's all gone within a blink of an eye.

The question is am I surviving?. That probably is what Im doing. I can feel my heart beating, I have air in my lungs, my eyes are wide open. The thing is am I really surviving. I can't really come up with an answer to that, yes I'm happy to be alive, but I'm not truly happy, because a lot things that mattered to me, that made me happy has been taken away from me. That makes me appreciate what I have left more. There's Haymitch, I hope he has reduced his drinking. Im probably dreaming. There's Katniss, I wonder how she's doing, I hope the nightmares haven't consumed her. I wonder what she looks like now, is she frail, healthy. Does she even think about me. I wonder what her reaction would be to my return . Just thinking about her makes my heart jump. I really want to see her, so badly. There's also the fact that I hope that my hallucination don't come full force on me, because I don't want to hurt her, I never wish or intend to hurt her.

This house hasn't changed one bit. Still the same since I left it. This reminds to start unpacking. I place all my groceries in their right cabinets. One thing my mother taught me is to always be tidy. I can't stand a mess. I quickly move my clothing to my bedroom, it's so spacious, it's kinda scary to sleep in this room alone. Add in the nightmares. Im finally done with the little unpacking I had to do.

My body is still healing from all the abuse it succombed to. My prosthetic leg is aching I need to take some rest. I take a quick shower in order to freshen up. Once im done I open the window, cause old habits never die. I finally lie on my bed. It feels like it's missing something, more like someone, I wish I could hold her in my arms right now. I sigh, god I miss her. Sleep finally takes over and I succomb to sleep.

I jolt awake after going through another nightmare it never ends. It's my worst _nightmare._ This one was great, I was putting in danger the woman that I _love_, tried to hurt her. This sick thought makes me wanna hurl. I look at the time it's 5:10 am. Anyways I can't sleep anymorein fear of going back to the nightmares. I get up and make my way to the kitchen. I want to go back to my old routine. So I start baking.

Once im done, I decide to take a look at good ol Haymitch. You know what I lied Haymitch hasn't changed one bit. Once entering his home the stench comes on full force. The geeses are waddling about, and Haymitch laying on his couch lifeless. I try to shake him from his haze, but no response. One thought comes to mind and I go get a jug and some cold water. I make it to him and pour it on his face.

He jolts awake like he just saw the Heavens and came back to life.

"aahhhhhhhhhh" he screams.

"hi" I say.

It takes him a while to figure who his talking to

"Peeta...boy are you crazy, are you trying to give me pneumonia" he says

"nope, just trying to get you to wake up"

"that's a discusting habbit, barging in my house, pourring cold water on my face, that's disrespectful" he barks.

"well, I just brought you back to life, you looked lifeless" I tell him.

"you're the last person I thought would do that" he says.

I know who his referring to. This pour water on Haymitch's face to bring him back to reality is something Katniss is very good at.

"so...how have you been?" I ask.

"nothin much i've been coping" he says.

I scoff at that. What a great way to cope by drowning yourself with alcohol.

"with alcohol, this place is swimming with bottles and a stench that could scare a town away" I tell him trying to give him some notions on how to tidy up.

"well, it's nobody's business and stop prying on mine" he practicaly tells me to back off.

"ok" I say refusing to go into a banter with him about his alcohol problem.

" so.. how have you been doing?" he asks.

I smile at that. I don't really know what to say about that, because im not sure how im doing either.

"good" I simply tell him.

"glad to hear it" he says.

"so...how is she?" changing the subject.

I can see by the look in his eyes that not everything is how I hope it to be.

"she's coping" he simply says.

"what do you mean?" I press on.

"she hasn't been the best boy, it's hard especially on her" he says.

"I know, I just wanted to know if she was eating, or if she told you anything that's bothering her, what does she want, what does she need help with" I tell him.

"she hasn't come to see me since we came back here". He says

"oh...did you check up on her" I ask.

He looks at me as though he's contemplating something.

"no" he says.

I look at him with pure schock.

"what?" I scream.

"look, she's not the only one going through tough times" he says.

I can't believe this.

"Haymitch we had a deal that you would look after her" I scream infuriated.

That makes sense on why he doesn't know how she's doing, because he hasn't checked on her.

"I get it...it's just that.."he tries to find the words.

"it's just that what?" I spit out.

"she just needs some time alone"he says.

He must be jocking.

"alone?..in the state that she's in? Do you even know if she's alive?". I scream.

He says nothing.

"she could probably be going to self destruct, all this time I was away you could of helped!". I am about to explode.

"boy calm down"he says.

I'm done.

" Haymitch, we had a DEAL!" I scream.

"you need to calm down" he says.

"CALM DOWN!.. after all we've been through I thought you would understand" I scream.

Again nothing.

"I was losing my mind in the capitol worrying about how she was doing, but I thought she was in good hands, because I thought Haymitch's there he would look after her no matter what happens to me" I say.

He's looking at me like his never seen me before.

"what if I hadn't come back?...huh...what if I died with all this venom in my head making me want to explode, would you still look after her? I thought that even if I didn't make it at least my _girl _would be alive, and she would have someone that cares about her, look after her!" I tell him.

"I'm sorry" he says.

"sorry, really? Sorry doesn't cut for that" I tell him.

"look, she might not be doing as bad as you think!"he says.

I think the alcohol has stepped inside his head, because his not thinking straight.

"I can't believe this...this is the last thing I wanted to come home to, I was just dreaming wasn't I" I tellhim.

"look...I can explain" he pleads.

"EXPLAIN WHAT!" I scream.

I thought so no answer. I'm done. I can't do this anymore.

"you know what..I'll do this by myself, I'll go look after her, something you wouldn't do." I tell him.

Without letting him explain himself further, I leave without looking back. Im furious. I can't believe he didn't look after her. What if she's dead. The thought makes me panic. My heart is beating so fast. Without a second thought I make my way to her house.

I arrive and knock on the door. For a while there's no answer, that just makes me panic more. I kcock again. Still no answer, I start to hyperventilate. I knock for the third time and the door opens wide open and then I see her. My Katniss, alive.

She looks shocked to see me. I feel like a newborn I can't formulate a word. Im usually good with words. That just shows the effect she has on me.

"hi" I manage.

"hi" she says.

I don't know what to say.

"I came back yesterday" I say.

Wow! you couldn't ask how she was doing first.

I think I might know the answer to that. She looks frail, she looks like she hasn't slept at all, and hasn't eaten anything for months. The sight of her makes my heart ache. I want to take care of her. Make sure that she doesn't look like this ever again.

Stepping out of my haze. I try to find my words.

"how have you been" I say.

How stupid am I? I can clearly see how she's doing. Not good.

"ok" she says simply.

God I don't know what to say.

"I was wondering how you we're doing...do you need anything I can help with?" I ask.

"no" she says.

I thought she has changed completely, but she still uses little words. One of the reasons why I love her.

"have you eaten?" I ask.

Jeez what a great way to make her feel good about herself.

"no"she says.

"can I make you something?" I ask.

She contemplates the idea for awhile.

"ok" she complys.

"can I come in?" I ask.

She moves for me to enter. Her house is exactly like mine. I try to find something for her I see some leftovers to warm up for her. The tension between us could be felt a thousand miles away. It's awkward, just some little talk. Everytime I catch her eye she lowers her head. I wish she knew what she meant to me.

After warming up her food I pass it to her.

"here" I say.

She takes and starts eating slowly. Im so mesmerized by her. Her everything, I want to take care of her. Even though she might not want my company, I would at least try to feed her.

After she's done, she pushes the bowl away from her.

"are you full, cause I can make something" I tell her.

"no Im good" she says.

"ok" I comply.

"how have you been?" she asks.

I smile at that. Im pleased she asked me that question, it hints that she was thinking about me in some way.

"good...I was mostly worried about you" I tell her.

She nods.

"how have you been coping with everything now" I ask.

"ok...I guess"she says.

Her eyes meets mine for a moment, then she lowers her head. I can't seem to move mine away from her. Even in this state her beauty mesmerized me. Her true beauty's description looks so good that it hurts. It's a shame how she doesn't know what she's worth. The effect she has on people, the effect she has on _me._

"well I hope you do better" I smile as I say.

For a moment we just look at each with no words. Her eyes the purest kind, I have never seen one so mesmerizing and beautiful.

"so...I should probably head back and start baking some more for tomorrow" I tell her.

"ok" she says.

I stand and make my to the door. Before I leave I've got to say something.

"it's great to see you Katniss" I say.

"you too" she says.

I smile and head out.

**Author's note: **Thank you for checking this out, hope you enjoyed this. Have a happy Easter and good health to all.

Thank you.


	3. Chapter 3- Mending the heart

I'm sorry im a little late, I've been busy with school, and im exhasuted, but I didn't want you guys to wait so long, so this is it.

Please review, it motivates me to write and tells me how im doing, and what things should be changed.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the hunger games, nor the characters, they all belong to Suzanne Collins.

Chapter 3- Mending the heart

Katniss's pov

After everything that happened yesterday, I still can't wrap my mind on it. Peeta came back, and he came to talk to me. Lying on my bed, I recall the events. He looks good, not as bad as me. He looks a little slim and the dark circles under his eyes betray the gorgeous smile he _always _gives me. His blond curls in need of haircut, fall on his forehead giving a boyish look. I can see the scar going up his shoulder, just another reminder of what we went through. His eyes are as blue as they can be, beautiful like the morning sky, I can't help but stare at them. After everything he's lost it's one precious thing that he hasn't lost. Everything went by so fast, I was so shocked to see him standing by my door step, he first looked relieved to see me, I wonder why. Then we talked, probably the longest conversation I had in months. Im happy to see him well and alive.

Exhaustion takes over and sleep overcomes me.

I awake with a start. Another nightmare, can't it just spare me one night. One night to fully sleep and wake up healthy just like _normal _people, just one night. I should of known that sleep wasn't going to help. I stare at the ceilling and I can't help but think of him. I wonder if he's sleeping enough, or if he still gets nightmares. Stupid me the dark circle under his eyes show that he hasn't slept much. I wonder what he thinks about when he wakes up.

I can't sleep anymore so I stand up and decide to take a shower. I look at the clock and it's only 5 am. The shower is so refreshing, I hope it rejuvenates me and make me look good. I don't know why Im acting this way. After my shower I make my way to my room and look at my dresser. There's a bunch of capitol lotions and make up that I don't know how to apply. Just at the corner of my eye I see that Peeta's awake by the smoke coming from his chimney. I go to my closet and try to find a dress to wear. A lot of them are to luxurious. Instead I pick a simple short green dress. After putting it on I try to braid my hair but it's still so I leave it. I hope he likes the way I look. Stop it! Katniss stop thinking like that. He probably doesn't think you're attractive. Although he says Im beautiful, but I just don't see it.

A knock at the door startles me. It's probably Greasy Sae, but Sae never knocks, cause she knows that I never answer I wonder who that could be. So I make my way downstairs, I open there he is again with bread, just like he promised.

His jaw drops slightly at the sight of me. For the first time Peeta Mellark has no words. I smile inwardly, I wonder what he thinks.

"hi" he finally says.

"hi" I repeat.

"so...I brought you bread just like I promised" he says.

"I see" I state.

I move so that he can enter. He sets the bread on the table and proceeds on making breakfast. I watch him for a moment, he seems focused on what he's doing, and I can't help but look at the stretch of his muscles while he works. He's making some eggs. He starts pourring some weird mixture that I don't know of in my cup. I can't help but ask.

"what's that?" I ask.

"oh, im making you hot chocolate, remember how in the capitol they gave us some weird drink and we were skeptical about it at first, but when we drank it it was delicious" he says.

I nod.

"here, try" he says.

He passes me the cup, and im not gonna lie it's pretty good. He looks at me so intently, he finally asks.

"is it good?"

"yes,...it's really good" I say

He passes me my plate, and we start eating. Sometimes I throw few glances at him. He's really beautiful, but I don't understand why he would want to take care of me. After everything I've done to him. He's confessed his love for me so many times, but all I inflict on him is pain. With the games and the war, the loss of our loved ones, and the way I've made him suffer just because I couldn't love him the way he loves me. Still he's here and still makes me breakfast.

He catches me staring at him, and all the sudden a smile creeps on his face and his stares at me too. My cheeks flush feeling embarrassed I look away.

I look up and he's still staring.

"what?" I ask.

"you didn't braid your hair today" he says.

I nod "I didn't" I shrug.

"I like your hair like that" he simply says.

"what do you mean?" I ask.

"I like your hair down,...it makes you look...different then what im used to see you with the braid" he says.

I take in his compliment. I was going to rebraid it, but since he likes it Im going to leave it down.

"thank you" I say.

"and that's a beautiful dress"

"yes" I say.

"you probably chose it very carefully, judging by the colour" he says.

I look down at my green dress and he couldn't be more right.

"reminds me of the forest" I say.

"why don't you go hunting?" he asks.

I've contemplated the idea before, it's just that I never had the guts to do it. Sae begged me for days to get out of the house and go look around. Im not sure if im ready for that yet. Seeing all the changes and the faces of the people I've caused pain upon, im afraid it can bring back a lot of demons. Im so lost in thought I didn't hear Peeta calling me.

"Katniss?" he calls.

"yes" I say

"why don't you go hunting?" he asks again

"I don't think im ready for that step yet" I simply say

"I understand" he says

We move our plates to the kitchen sink, and just before im about to wash mine he says.

"no, I can do it" he says

I look at him intently, he makes me breakfast and doesn't want me to clean the dishes. What is wrong with him?.

"I can help too you know!".I say.

"I know it's just that I would like to do it if you don't mind" he says.

"it's not that I mind it's just that I would like to help after you made me breakfast" I state

"ok" he complys.

We clean the dishes, and at the corner of my eye I can see him staring at me. I look at him and our eyes meet. My cheeks flush bright red I try to hide my face so that he won't see me like this.

Once were done we make our way to the living room. We fidget a lot, because we don't know what to do.

"should I put the tv on?" He asks.

Since I made it back here I haven't thought of putting the tv on, so this will be a first since the rebellion.

I nod and he proceeds.

He changes through channels,and nothing interresting. Until we see a familliar face, Plutarch Heavensbee on his new singing competition show. Peeta seems intrigued by it. He moves closer to take a look. Plutarch begins singing and peeta bursts into a fit of giggles, and I can't help but smile a little. I haven't sang for awhile, so I don't know what I sound like but this is horrific. He sounds like his being strangled, and his capitol apperance doesn't help at all. He once told me about this show, and I did what I do best, ignore him.

"he sounds like he's constipated" he says through laughter.

"I never thought he would actually do this" I say

"well, he's definetly getting he's ratings alright" he says.

Once Plutarch singing festival is done, we proceed and change channels. Most of it are reports of the reconstruction of Panem. Until someone that I haven't seen since the rebellion appears on the tv. It's Gale. He doesn't look like he's from twelve at suit makes him look like he's an important figure in district 2, a general or something. It's been so long since I've last seen him that im closed in my own bubble watching him intently on tv. He looks like he hasn't slept in awhile. Welcome to the team. But he looks healthy.

My silence is broken of by Peeta.

"have you talked to him?" he asks

He looks a little sad asking this.

I shake my head.

"why don't you call him?" he asks.

"um, he's not my priority right now" I simply say.

"what do you mean?" he asks

"it's just that, I don't think were on good terms right now" I say

"ok" he agrees

I look at him I don't know what's going on in his head. The laughter we had a few minutes ago has completely disappeared. He looks sad, I can't put my finger on why he's sad. So I don't say anything.

I turn back on the tv, and Gale is talking about some issues about district 2 he looks like he knows what he's talking about and seems to be comfortable with the subject.

I know that Gale and I have some fixing to do. Since the death of...Prim, he's involvent in the bombing has left me sour. I know that it's not his fault, but I haven't forgiven him yet.

"um, im gonna head home, I have some things to work on" he says

"ok" I comply

"im going to come back in the afternoon to make you dinner" he says

I nod

He gets up and make his way to the door.

"I'll see you later Katniss"

"later" I say

He leaves. Idon't know what changed in him so fast, because he looked down a little bit. I turn back to the tv and it's another person on tv.

I sigh and lean back on the couch. I truly don't know what to do by myself. Well there's always hunting, im not ready for that yet.

I settle on the couch and search through channels in order to find anything interresting.

Xxxxxxxxxx

I hear my door open and I instectly think it's Peeta because he promised to make dinner. But it's not Peeta, it's someone I did not expect at all.

"Haymitch?" I ask.

"hello sweetheart" he says

Still annoyed with the nickname, but i've learnt to live with it. I just don't know why he's here. Since the rebellion, when we came back to twelve that was the last time I saw him. The stench of his alcohol lingers through the air.

"what are you doing here" I ask.

"I came to check up on you, I see you're doing well"he says

"why?" I ask

" um, the boy was worried!" he says

What does he mean since Peeta came back, he's been checking up on why would he be worried.

"I don't understand, why would he be worried?" I ask

"it's just that I talked to him a few days ago and he wasn't happy about some circumstances" he says

"what circumstances?" I ask

Just as I ask that the door clicks open. Peeta looks between us and then his eyes settle on Haymitch, and he does not look happy.

"what are you doing here?" Peeta asks

"I came to check up on sweetheart" Haymitch says

"now you come to check up on her" Peeta says

"well since our last conversation did not go too well, I decided I needed to fulfilled my duties" Haymitch says.

"but now you do, I had to be the one to wake some sense on you for you to finally act" Peeta states

I have never seen Peeta like this. His brow is creased and he looks like he's about to jump Haymitch.

"what's goin' on?" I ask

"the boy hasn't been very happy with me lately" hay says

I look to Peeta " why?" I ask

"because he didn't keep his promise that's all" Peeta says

"what promise?" I ask

Peeta moves to the counter and places the dishes he has made on the table and proceeds on placing the plates.

"Peeta, what promise?" I ask

"It's nothing Katniss don't worry about it" he says

"nothing, then what are you guys bickering about?" I ask simply cause nothing makes sense right now.

"sweetheart it's ok nothing for you to worry about" Haymtich says.

"does this have to do with the capitol?" I ask

"It's just something Peeta and I discsussed a while ago, and I was being a douche bag by not really fulfilling my promise" Hay says

By this Peeta turns around.

"It's not that you didn't just fulfill your promise but you decide to do it while i've already started to do something about it" Peeta says.

Im lost in this conversation.

"look kid, not everybody can easily turn things around like you do" hay says

Peeta looks furious.

"change things around are you kidding me, im not some type of magician, but I sure as hell do have a conscious" Peeta states.

Im shocked by the use of foul language. This is not the Peeta I know.

"what's going?" I ask wanting to find out.

"Katniss eat your dinner" Peeta says.

"but can't you tell me if there's anything wrong" I ask

"don't worry about it ok, just eat your dinner" he says firmly.

"ok" I comply

We settle and eat. The air is uncomfortable, Haymitch and Peeta can't stop scowling at each other. A different side of Peeta that I see today. What is really bothering him. I don't wish to press on in oder to make him angry.

Once were done Peeta repeats the same thing he did this morning. Im afraid if I ask to help he'll be pissed at me.

"well, I think im gonna go" Haymitch says

"ok" I say

"see you sweetheart" haymitch says

Haymitch leaves. Im stunned by the exchange between that. I thought Peeta was his favorite. What could of made Peeta so angry at him.

Once he's done he makes his way to the couch once again.

"Peeta, you really don't wish for me to know what's wrong!" I say

"nothing's whrong Katniss, I just had a misunderstanding with Haymitch that' all" he says

"nothing for me to worry about" I say

"nothing for you to worry about" he repeats

"it has nothing to do with the capitol?" I ask

"no, not at all" he says

"ok" I comply

We stay there for awhile watching a cooking channel, which Peeta is highly fascinated in. Once the show is done, it's dark outside already.

"Im gonna head home now" he says

"ok" I say

He looks at me long before he says

"goodnight Katniss" he says

"goodnight Peeta" I say

And he leaves. Since when do I have a good night, that hasbeen stripped away from me. Having nothing else to do I make my way to my room. I change into my pyjamas. I ly on my bed and try to figure what has been bothering Peeta today. I can't recall anything I did wrong today. Feeling exhausted sleep envelops me and im pulled into the traiteous world.

I awake with a start, im sweating, im sobbing, my throat hurts probably from the screaming. I sit up and try to catch some air.

Until I feel strong hands pull me. I panic until I see him.

"Peeta?" I ask trying to see clearly through my sobs.

He envolps me in his arms.

"sch, sch, ssch, it's just a dream.

He's really here. Why is he here?.

**Author's note:** oh cliff hanger, hope you liked it and please, please review it helps a lot!

Thank you.


	4. Chapter 4-He's here

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the Hunger Games, nor the characters, they all belong to Suzanne Collins

Chapter 4- He's here

Katniss's pov

"Peeta...wha wha what are you doing here" are the first words that escape my mouth.

I'm shocked to find him here in the middle of night. Though I don't comprehend why?

"I heard you screaming from my house,...and I couldn't take it anymore Katniss"

I lower my head in shame. Was I screaming that loud. Although it doesn't shock me that much. My nightmares are what occupy me most nights. That's probably why he can hear me.

"I'm fine" I manage lowering my head.

"Katniss you're not fine, this has been going on since I came back, and...I couldn't take it anymore Katniss" he says

"they are just nightmares Peeta, im fine" I lie

They are just nightmares right?. I snicker at my own delusions.

"Katniss you know that they aren't just nightmares, look... I hear you scream like this every night you don't have to go through all alone"

"then what are you suggesting exactly?" I ask

"Katniss I couldn't take it anymore, I hear you scream like this every night, and I don't do anything about it, I decided to change that tonight, I can't live when you're in pain"

"what are you going to do about it" my stubborn self takes over

""uhh, I..don't know" hestutters.

"then why are you so concerned, look I'm fine now, don't worry" I say

I think that sometimes I forget the depths of Peeta's feelings towards me. It's something I don't like to touch a lot. He has confessed he's feelings for me numerous times, he has put his life on the line for me, and I still reject him. My stubborness begins to irritate me. How can I not see that the reason why he's here is because he cares deeply for me and he's ready to go lenghts just to make sure im alright. Why is he so good.

Now I stare deep into his blue eyes, and I can't help but feel sorry for this man. How can you care for someone like me. He can have a bright future, find a girl, marry the girl and have children and be happy. But here he is on my bed, comforting me. It's _always _been me before him.

"soo...aren't you going back to sleep" I ask

He snickers at that. How can I be so stupid to ask that question. I guess it was just the heat of the moment.

"Katniss you and I both know that going back to sleep is not the best option" he tells me with a smile.

"then what do you do?"

"I bake, sometimes I paint" he says

I'm shocked to hear the last part. I didn't think he was getting back to his routine so fast.

"you paint, what kind of things fo you paint?" I ask

He's smile falters at that question. Oh great Katniss you've managed to make him feel bad in a mere of a second.

"a bunch of things, it's part of my therapy, you see said that it's good to put your frustration in things that you enjoy, cause then you can think properly" he says.

Before coming back here told me the same thing. But since I fell into my little coma I haven't those thoughts in motion.

Peeta looks at me intently as if knowing what im thinking.

"you know you should probably follow what he says, and maybe go hunting" he says with a smile.

The idea is toxicating. Although I don't know if im ready yet, but I miss the woods terribly. It's my sanctuary, it's where I can think, it's where I can pour all my emotions without being disturbed.

"I've thought it, but I don't know if im ready yet" I say lowering my head.

He puts his hand on my lap. The feeling sends electricity through me. Even though he litteraly engulfed me few minutes ago.

"Katniss, you'll never be ready, you just have to give it a shot and see the outcome, because if you continue to wait, it's going to be for a long time" he says.

It's the truth. Why am I being like this. I'll never know if im ready or not if I wait up. I gotta get up and face my fears. It won't be the first time anyway. So I comply.

"ok" I say

"ok what"

"I'll go hunting"

The smile that spreads on his face is breathtaking.

"that's great Katniss"

"I think i'll go by at 5 before sunrise" I say

"that's great, and i'll be baking and making you breakfast"

Oh why are you so good. Although the gesture brings a familiarity to me. My dad use to bring my mom breakfast to bed before he went hunting. Even if she was still asleep he'll make sure breakfast was done for all of us. Always thought about us before him. I can't help the resemblance between my father and Peeta, the thought makes me smile. My father loved my mother and he made sure she was satisfied before he went about with his own interest. That makes Peeta and I, oh. A blush creeps on my face, I quickly lower my head so that he won't see.

"thank you" is all I say

"no problem, I'll meet you when you get back ok"

I nod

With that he gets of the bed and makes his way to the door. But before he leaves he has one more thing to say.

"Katniss you know I can help with anything you need right?"

Of course. I nod

"so when you need anything, just tell me" he says

"ok" I comply

He smiles and with that he leaves.

I sigh. All that just transpired right now left me breathless. Peeta was here in my room, on my bed, comforting me, making sure I was ok. Peeta never ceases to amaze me. He never stops showing me how he feels about me. Im just a selfish girl with so many problems refusing to reciprocate those feelings. Sometimes I have the urge to ask him why me?, of all the girls in the world why me?.

But I can't also refuse to acknowledge my feelings towards him. I remember in the first games, after the announcement that there could be two victors, my sole purpose was to make sure that Peeta makes it back with me no matter what. There was also the time in the second games when he got shocked and plummeted to the ground like a sack of flour, where he's heart stopped and I was sure mine was going to stop too. I f he died then, Im sure I would of been beyond repair. There was also when he was taken by the capitol, and all I thought of was him, I couldn't eat or acknowledge anyone, all I wanted was Peeta.

Then what are exactly are my feelings towards him. I can really pin point what my feelings are towards him. I know that I care for him deeply.

But is that all?

I get up and make my way to the washroom, just at the corner of my eye I look through the window and I can see Peeta moving around his kitchen. I sigh. I make my way to the washroom and take a quick shower. Once im done, I put on a black shirt and throw in my father's jacket and a pair of pants. I make my way downstairs and put on my boots. I grab my bow and arrow.

I make my way out. It's time to test the waters.

Peeta's pov

I was awake after my own nightmare until I heard her scream her heart out, and I could'nt take it anymore. It hurts to hear her suffer. Once I made my way to her house and made my way upstairs, our houses aren't so different so her room was easy to find. I found curled like a ball screaming things and crying, the sight of her breaks my heart. I wasn't even thinking and pulled her in my arms. The rest was another story.

Im glad for my actions, because I don't think I could endure seeing her like that again. I don't think she understands the efect she has on me.

The spell she cast on me can never be broken. I just wish I could hold her all the time, be next to her when she wakes up, make her breakfast and the first thing I wish to see is that smile she rarely shows around. I want to make sure that her happyness comes first. Im also scared of my flashbacks, I don't know wish to be around her when they trigger in fear of hurting her.

Im so proud of her, she finally got out of the house. It's a big step, because when I came back all she did was lie on the couch and occasionaly help around. I wish I could be there all the time, make her days brighter.

I can't help but fantasize my future with her. It's what I did when I was a boy. I've always wanted to hold her and make her feel special. I wanted to make her mine. I've always hoped that she could be my wife someday. Katniss Mellark. The thought makes me blush. I wish to touch her, caress her skin, make love to her and hear her moan my name. I feel a twitch between my legs. I also wanted to see her round with our child, her belly protruding, I would envelop her in my arms, kiss her neck, kiss her stomach and cherish them until I die. Those thoughts never leave my mind. I want so much more with Katniss than what we have now.

I know that Katniss hasn't really solidified her feelings towards me, but I hope that she'll feel the same way someday.

I sigh. All these fantasizing isn't going to make her breakfast. Once im done baking the bread, I take a few supplies and make my way to her place.

I begin to set everything and start making the breakfast. I wish this could be something I would do for a log time.

I fix everything and wait for her.

Katniss pov

The woods is a familiar place. The aroma calms me, the freshness, the quitness relaxes me. I can't even begin to believe that I was so stubborn and was questioning myself to do this again. For the first time I feel like im home, this is where I should be. Everything in my past thought to cherish everything in life. It's just evolution, you either adapt or you perish. I can't say that everything that has happened in my life has been pure bliss, but there are moments I don't wish to forget. Like the times I spent with my father in the woods, where he thought me how to hunt, learn differences between good plants and poisonous plants. The times where Prim and I played hide and seek and trying to find thing to occupy ourselves from the complete solidarity our mother left us in. There's my mom, my memories of her are kinda vague, but I remember those special moments where she'll braid my hair before I made my way to school. I remember the smile she used to give me right after finishing doing my braid, it was stunning one of the most beautiful person I have ever seen, and I wished to look just like her. That was before she fell into despair and complete ignored us entirely. I can't fathom the loss she suffered, I was also devasted by the loss of our father, but I do not understand why she completely shut us out. If I ever lost Peeta and will never get the chance to see him again, I would be irreparable. Maybe that's how she felt. Still it's not a reason for you to completely ignore your kids.

Then there's Peeta. The incrediblely good boy, always puts others interest before his own. I've come to know that he'll stop at nothing until I am completely satisfied. Since that first day when he threw that bread in the rain for me, which saved my life, I felt like im always in debt of him. He never stops doing good deeds, and I always feel like I should pay him for all he's done for me, but I don't know how. I know that he has feelings for me, but I can't help but feel like a complete failure to him. I want to see hum happy he's lost so much, but he tries to hide it in front me, because im he's sole purpose.

But what are exactly my feelings towards him?

I proceed in my hunting and spot two squirrels climbing a tree, I instinctively pull my arrow and get the first one, the other one flee without giving me a chance. I get my squirrel and throw it in my game bag. Then I see a huge turkey that could feed us for days. I approach it very quietly, I hide through a bunch of tree branches, I spot and quickly shoot my arrow. Got it!. Im impressed by my skills, I know that's been awhile since i've done this. Im pleased, at least this way I can repay Peeta with a great meal. Not that I'm going to cook, cause that would be disastrous. I decide to set up a few snares in hope to get more game.

This is where Gale was most good at. I miss him. I miss coming in the woods and hunting with him. He has changed now. He now wears a uniform and defends a community. Im proud of him, but im also sad that I lost my best friend. Even though with the incident with the bombing, I can't blame him entirely, because P rim was in the wrong place the wrong time. Even if it's his bombs that created the chaos, I know that he's intentions where not to harm my sister. I just wish I could talk to him, clear the air, because I haven't completely forgiven him because I don't know what he feels because he refuses to talk to me.

I sigh. I grab the turkey and throw it in my game bag. This is enough for today, so I make my way back home.

Once im in the village, I peer in Peeta's window, he's not there. He probably is in my place. So make my way there.

I enter and take my boots and jacket, I grab my game bag and make it to the kitchen.

Directly I am the vision I see on my table floors me. It's like a buffet in here, all for breakfast. Has he been doing this since I left. On the table there's a plate of eggs, bacon, bread, saucages, cubed cut out potatoes, a bowl of beans, pancakes, butter, syrup, yogurt, and a glass of orange juice. How many people was he planning on feeding exactly?

"hi" I hear behind me

I quickly turn and see Peeta in the doorway.

"hi" I reply

"did you do all this?" I ask

He nods " I didn't know what you would like so I made a bunch of things" he says with a shy smile.

"I see that, ...but were not gonna be able to eat it all"

"I know,...I guess I got carried away" he says a little bit dissapointed.

Come on Katniss, the least you could do is appreciate his efforts.

"um, it looks good"

He's smile reach his eyes, I haven't seen this in awhile and it makes me smile in return.

"yeah, well maybe if you try it maybe you'll like it even more"

"oh don't be fool of yourself Mellark" I joke

He smiles even more.

"let's eat"

We make our way to our seats. He sits right in front of me. It's like gambling, I don't know what to choose. So I take the pancakes with syrup, the saucages, a glace of juice, and the yogurt. I hope his happy. I look up and I can still see the smile on his face. So I try the food, and he was not lying, it's exquisite.

A moan escapes my lips. Wow this is delicious. I look to him again and his demeanor hasn't changed, but this time there's color on his cheeks and his looking at me with those eyes so intently. As if he's studying me. It's my turn to blush.

He gives groggy cough before speaking.

"so...you like it"

I nod

"it's really good, your promise is fulfilled"

He smiles "I told you you'll like it"

"it's true"

"so..how was hunting"

"good"

"just good, there's gotta be more than that"

"yea, it felt like i was back to where i belong, it was mesmerizing, i loved it"

He nods "that good, so what did you catch"

Suddenly I feel jumpy and excitedly tell him about my catch.

"I caught a squirrel and a turkey, not bad for the first day back uh?"

"yep, wow turkey that's a big catch"

"yea, I was going to give it to you"

He smiles more, there's a glimmer of hope in them.

"really, thank you"

"no problem"

"but I think that, I could make us a meal and give some to sae and haymitch"

That doesn't shock me. I wonder though what's the problem between him and haymitch.

"so...what's up with you and haymitch" I say changing the subject.

"uh,...I had a misunderstanding with him"

"about what?" I ask curious

"something that he promised to do, but never accomplished"

"like what?"

Im starting to feel nozy, but I don't understand the querreling between Peeta and Haymitch. I thought Peeta was his favorite.

"uh, you really wanna know the truth"

I nod.

"well it's about him not taking care of you, while I was still in the capitol for treatment"

Realization sets in. It's true, I don't remember Haymitch coming to see me since we came back, but I still doubt that he would of changed anything.

"oh, i still don't think it would of changed anything"

"at least he could make sure you were fed, you only feel alone when you don't have someone to talk to, he should of been that to you"

"I doubt that he would even be able to make it past his front door wih all the liquor he consumes"

"he should of been sober for you then, plus he promised" he says a little bit angry.

I remember when I ask Haymitch to promise that he would take care of Peeta if anything happened to me. Now I see why Peeta is mad, because I would of been the same way if Haymitch did not fulfill his promise. What if I died and Peeta had no one to rely to. What would of happened?

"I understand peeta"

"no you don't. He says angry. You can not imagine the pain that I would have to live with if I came back and heard that I lost you. I mean, what if I was dead, and you had no one to look to, it's why im mad at him, I don't think he understands the circumstances, after everything we've all been through the least he could do is take care of you" he says breathless.

Without thinking I put my hand over his. The gesture shocks him a little bit.

"Peeta believe me I understand what you mean, I would of been irreparable if that happened to you"

The word fly out of my mouth. Suddenly I feel so vulnerable and shy about my confession. He stares at me for awhile, as if disbelieving what I just said.

"really, you would of felt the same way" he says sheeply

I nod and quickly remove my hand from his. We go back to our food, and let the events sink in. I just admitted to Peeta that I care for him. I wonder how he translated that to himself.

Once were done. We keep the rest and put it in the fridge, then proceed to wash the dishes. It's quiet, too quiet even for Peeta.

I decide to make a conversation.

"so...are you coming here to make the turkey, or.."

"if you'll have me" there's a glee in his eyes and I know what he means by that.

"I'll be happy to"

He smiles and proceed on the dishes.

The day has been full of action. I went hunting for the first time in awhile. Peeta made me a buffet, and for dinner we had turkey and a bunch of other stuff, because it's Peeta. We kept the rest in order to give to haymitch and sae. We watched some tv, for a long time. Since were not used to that kind of luxury, we spent most of our time surfing through different channels everytime we finished an episode.

Now I lay here on my bed completely exhausted. My mind goes back to the conversation Peeta and I had and the confessions we made to one another, I wonder where all this will lead us. I wish to see him again, and he should make more of those pancakes.

Sleep takes me.

Im once again trapped in this hideous game of nightmares. It never ends. I trash and scream my heart out, I never wish to see that man's face again and the scent of roses. I feel like im about to hurl.

Until I see Peeta pull open my door with force. He's panting he must've been running.

He's quickly by my side envelopping me in his arms.

"it's ok, it's ok they are just nightmares"

Im trying so hard to breath properly and suppressing the need to vomit.

"you're safe now, nothing's going to happen"

He rocks me for awhile like a child and patting my head. Once I've calm down, he removes me from him, the sudden change makes me miss his arms. Woah what was that.

He stands up and makes his way to the door. He's leaving.

"ok katniss, you'll be fine im gonna head back"

"you don't have to leave" the words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them. I want him to stay.

"what?"

"you can stay,...i..i i'd like you to stay"

"are you sure"

"yes"

"ok"

I move a little to the side to give him spaceand I patt the side of my bed for him to climb in. He complys and shifts in a little bit.

"are you comfortable?" I ask

"definetly" he says with a big smile.

The space between us is excruciating. So I make my way to him and softly lay my head on his chest and my arm resting beside it. I think the gesture shocks him at first. Im afraid i've done something wrong, but he wraps he's arms around me softly. The warmth radiating between us is delicious. I feel so content and I let sleep take me.

**Author's note**: This is a long chapter to make up for the wait. I hope you guys enjoyed this and let me know what you think about it. Please review!, pretty please.

Thank you.


	5. Chapter 5-Comfort

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the hunger games, nor the characters, they all belong to Suzanne Collins.

Chapter 5- Comfort

Katniss' Pov

When I wake the first thing I'm aware of is the warmth radiating around me. I feel so content. He's arms are wrapped around me protectively. He's right leg is hooked against mine. He's soft breathing calms me. There's something so intimate about this position. Peeta and I have shared the same bed during the victory tour this is nothing new. I feel safe in his arms and I know that he'll never harm me. There's also that feeling i've longed for a long time. It's peace. I had no nightmares, didn't struggle to fall asleep and I was safe. All because of Peeta.

I shift a little just to rearrange myself in his arms. That's when I feel something on my backside. I move a little bit just to try and move the nuissance away, then Peeta lets out a low moan. I try again this time swatting it with my hand, Peeta moans again. That's when the realization dawns on me, and I realized what I've just touched and my cheeks flush. I've learned about these kinda of stuff in school, but Peeta was getting excited because of me. Oh my god, this cannot get anymore awkward. I lied, Peeta shifts and rolls off of me. I hope he hadn't noticed. Of coursed he noticed.

"um hi" he states

"hi" I reply

Just then Peeta pulls the cover a little over him to hide his excitement.

"sleep good" he asks. Like I said always looking out for me first.

"yeah, you?"

"good, so no nightmares" he asks

"no nightmares" I state

"that's good"

There's a small license that settles over us. I think it's because of what happened earlier and I don't want to mention it, so does he.

"uh, I'm gonna go in the bathroom to take a shower and then i'll be downstairs making breakfast, sounds good" he says

"yeah"

"good"

He stands there awkwardly for a moment, as if he doesn't know what to do, then goes into the bathroom. A sigh of relief escapes me. I really didn't want to get into that discussion.

I've heard girls in the seam and at school talk about boys and their anatomy. Girls at school weren't afraid to keep anything private to themselves. If one girl slept with someone it'll be the story at school. I've heard many whispers about girls on their knees and doing something, I don't know I never really caught on what they were saying. Girls at the seam usually went to the slag heap with their sweethearts. It was forbidden for anyone to have sexual relations while still eligible for the hunger games. When most who have passed the age to enter the games, will run with their sweethearts to the slag heap. Sometimes those who will go to the slag heap are those who are in need of money and that's when they've reached the bottom line to go to that type of place. I can't say I've never thought to do the same thing. There's was a horrible winter which didn't leave too many game and lowered the level of trade to be made. I've thought about going to the slag heap in order to get money to at least get some flour and bread. My pride was too big and I was going to fight through anything, but i'll never set foot in the slag heap. It saddens me that i've thought of doing so, but judging by the struggle we all went through I can't judge anyone for their actions.

Just as I'm done with my thoughts, Peeta steps out of the bathroom. The sight of him shocks me. He's half naked in front of me, with just a towel wrapped around his waist. Oh god!

"so, I see you're done"

"yea"

I am trying so hard not to look at his muscles. His stocky, he's muscle are well define, because of the years spent lifting sacks of flour. I lower my gaze not to stare.

"um, im gonna go in the bathroom now"

"ok"

I move from my bed and make my to the bathroom.

"I'll be downstairs if you need me"

"ok" I say. With that I quickly make my way to the bathroom. What's happening to me? I feel like Peeta is doing this on purpose. I felt these kinda of feelings twice only. In the cave and on the beach. I should really stop thinking like this. For the sake of both of us.

I hop in the shower. Once I'm done I wrap myself with a towel and make my way to the bedroom. I've really never paid too much attention to what I am wearing, but now I feel self conscious with Peeta around.

What is happening to me?

I make my way to the closet trying to find something decent to wear. At least I've gotta be presentable right?

As I'm moving looking for my clothes, my towel slips a little bit and just then I hear the door open wide. I quickly turn around and adjust my towel around myself. I see Peeta staring at me with his mouth agape. We both struggle for words and I straighten my grip around me.

"um...I, I ,Im really sorry Katniss, I didn't mean to, I thought you were done and I called for you but you never answered, so I made my way up here to check if everything was ok. Oh god, Im sorry, I should go." he stammers. All of Panem knows that Peeta is a silver tongue, this situation right now is laughable.

"it's ok, no worries" I say trying to ease the tension.

We both shift side to side until Peeta quickly recovers.

"um, breakfast is ready, you should come down and have something" he says with a shy smile.

"ok, i'll be down soon"

"good, uh...see ya" he says. With that he leaves the room.

Talk about awkward. What is this game we're both playing? This towel mess, and the staring. I quickly get dressed and make my way downstairs I see him sitted and make my way to his side.

"you here" he says

"yea"

We serve ourselves, and it's probably the most awkward breakfast I've ever had with Peeta. We both have a silent agreement not to bring up what happened upstairs.

"so... what are you going to do today?" he asks, clearly shaking me from my thougths.

"um, I don't know maybe hunting again, but why haven't you spoken to Haymitch?" I ask. This silent treatment they're both doing has got to stop. Makes them seem like two years old. Peeta told him what angered him so much, but I haven't yet found out about Haymitch.

"um, I don't know still mad at him"

"look I know you guys had an agreement and he didn't fulfill it, but you've at least gotta talk. I've always thought he liked you better than me."

He smiles. "yea well I don't think Im ready for that discussion with him"

"why? I understand you're still mad, but look Im fine"

"but what if you weren't fine?" He says cocking his eyebrows at me"

I clearly have no answer to that. I know that if something happened to Peeta anad I didn't know how he was doing that would make me freak out. Plus he left someone to look after me. I can't entirely blame Haymitch, because he would of tried, but he would of never succeeded of making me leave my couch. Only Peeta can.

"I understand what you mean, but you two aren't going to be bottled up like this for the rest of your lives, you've gotta at least hear from him"

"I've heard enough from him" he states. His jaw tightens and I can see that he's getting a little bit angry.

Maybe I shouldn't press on in fear of getting him hurt.

"it's just that Katniss, im sure we both know why I worry about you so much,...and the thought of losing you is something I cannot bare with" Peeta states.

Im speecheless everytime he puts he's feelings forward. I never know how to express myself properly. Anyways I've never been good with words, so it's really hard for me to voice my points.

"um, you and Haymitch have a great bond you shouldn't ruin it like this, talk to him please and maybe you'll understand him better"

He stares at me for awhile. "ok, Katniss, i'll do it for you" then he smiles

I nod

"thank you"

We finish our breakfast and we both wash the dishes in a pleasant silence. Once we're done, I quickly grab my bow and arrow and my father's jacket.

"Peeta, im going hunting"

"ok, well?"

"I guess I'll see you later, right?"

He smiles widely and I'm afraid he's face might split up.

"ok, i'll be here"

I smile then make my way out.

Peeta's Pov

I've thought about what Katniss said it's just that it's really hard to go back to the person you trusted most even with your life betray you like that. I've come up with every possible way Katniss would of suffered if I hadn't come back. I don't think people ever understood my feelings towards Katniss. I'm sure neither did Katniss, but since I was a little boy Katniss safety and happyness has been my number one priority. Even if we never properly interracted before until the games, I still looked out for her form afar. I care for her deeply. It's my responsibility that she is well even though Im not around.

Making up my mind I leave katniss house and make my way to Haymitch. Once im at the door I don't even bother knocking just bolt in unvinted, he's probably asleep anyways. To my suprise Haymitch is sitting on his couch bottle on his right hand and tv on.

"hello to you too" he says

"I thought you we're asleep"

"well you thought wrong"

I make my way to sit. This place has'nt changed one bit.

"have you eaten" I ask

"no, but why do you care"

"you must be hungry" I stand up, but he quickly puts his hand up.

"you don't have to that I've already got something to fill me up"

Understanding I sit back down. Im kinda of afraid to bring up the subject, cause I really don't wanna hear what he has to say. There's no explanation for what he did.

"but what are you here for then?" He asks

"you know why im here"

"nope I don't"

"haymitch it's about the whole deal with Katniss, the one you broke, I never gave you the chance to explain yourself so.."

He looks me very intently, probably choosing his words.

"Peeta, when we came back after the war, it wasn't easy for anyone, but I saw everything I grew up with crumble before my eyes. I knew before joining the rebellion that it would be of great cost, but I never assumed this much. The games took most of our kids, but the rebellion took all our people. See the capitol might have lost, but they did leave a huge scratch. Once we came back, my childhood, my family, my friends, all the tributes, I saw it all dissapear and I felt we've gotten our freedom, but we would never be whole. See you and Katniss are one the luckiest people you just don't see it sometimes, yeah you never had it easy but neither did anyone else. Most people lost who they cherish, some are alone, even with the lost of your families you still have Katniss. You're right im sorry, it was selfish of me to abandon her like that, but we we're both in the same situation, we just handle it differently. I wish that I didn't stay bundled in my own problems and looked out for her, I really do. I know what she means to you and im sorry." he says

I try my best to swallow this information. Honestly I never saw it like that. I have never seen Haymitch express his feelings outwardly. Jeez im struggling with what to say and his right.

" I never really thought about it that way, Katniss means the world to me she's the one i've got left, and you. He snickers at that. I hope you understand where im coming from with this, and im sorry I never gave you the chance to explain yourself"

"ok" he says

"is that it?" that's all he had to say.

"yea"

"ok, good"

"good. You're sure you don't need anything"

"nope"

"ok, i'll be heading then"

I get up and make my way to the door. Before I leave Haymitch has something else to say.

"hey lover boy, take care of sweetheart"

I smile and leave. Halfway accross I see Katniss making her way back. Once our eyes meet I wave to her. I hope she doesn't remember what happened this morning. First it was me with my hormones, then Katniss robe slipping slightly enough for me to see the curve of her breast. Peeta Mellark you gotta get it together.

"hey, hunting good?"

"yeah, caught two squirrels, I guess the weather change chase the game away"

It's almost winter. I remember when this time of the year was crucial for Katniss, but now she doesn't have to worry about getting enough to eat anymore now that im here.

We enter the house, Katniss proceeds in the kitchen and drops the game in the sink. Once she's back i've got one of my favorite films playing brings back a lot of memories.

"what are you watching?" she asks

"an old film my father showed me, it's called the wizard of oz"

"oh, sounds interresting"

"yea"

"what's it about?"

"it's about a girl struggling to understand her world, gets caught up in a tornado and sent into a magical land where she meets..., you know why don't you watch it before I ruin it for you"

"ok"

We stay like this for awhile. Katniss shifts a little and tucks her legs under her. While the movie plays, I can't help but glance at her face. She's beautiful. Dorothy reminds me a lot of her. A girl with so much strength and with a little understanding of the world she lives in and with a voice of an angel. Just trying to keep up.

**Author's note:** I am so sorry for the late update, my laptop broke so it had to go to repair. Then school came crushing down like a ton of bricks and I couldn't keep up with everything. Im truly sorry. I hope this chapter makes up for it though. .


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